Wow. Great.

So when I was at work today I get a text, not even a call, from my daughter's father's mother, so her grandmother, asking if I could find a sitter for one day a week. Doesn't sound like a big deal right? Until you look at the fact her son, Bella's dad only has her three times a week and that while I am at work. So where does she expect me to find a sitter? Because I really have so much money and resources available to me? Shouldn't they find a sitter, no of course not this is my problem. I am at my last nerve with them, ha I gave up everything to raise this beautiful little girl and my life is on hold. Do you think I don't want to go out on weekends and stay out some nights? Of course I do but I don't or not often. I never really ask them to do anything all I wanted was a steady day care so I can work my sucky ass job to get money for my little girl. But no I can't have that can I? I didn't go after child support, he doesn't keep her over night, and I don't just disappear and leave for weeks or days at a time. I just am at a loss I have no idea what to do. I called my mom basically crying because I was so upset. What do i do? This is just wrong. I could so fuck them over in court but I haven't but maybe I should. This hurts so bad and I am slowly falling apart but I have to be strong for my little angel.

And on top of that I have recently started dating a girl and I know that people are going to think I am dumb and be like what the hell? That's going to hurt to and I have no idea how to start telling people because I know that alot of people already think I am not a good mother, though everything I do is for my daughter. I don't understand why people can't just accept things and move on. I hate the way people judge and the looks you receive if you are "different". But its like you cannot control your feelings at all. Love is not right or wrong, just true. How do you look down upon someone because they have a different preference than you? Why are people so scared of the abnormal, who cares its your character that counts right? These next few weeks are going to be so hard with everything that is going on. For once I just wish I had a break.

First Blog.

So over the weekend, I went paintballing for the first time and it was fantastic. I thoroughly enjoyed myself as I thought I would and I am ready to play again. I am not scared of playing or running straight into the action. I was a little weary at first about shooting people but when people are shooting at you, you don't feel as bad, ha. After we were done paintballing we went up to the house and had some pizza. YUM.

Then we decided to go four-wheeling with the ATV's, well that was just about the funniest thing EVER! I had so much fun, and I felt like I had so much power just riding through the woods. It was awesome, I got a lot better by the end of the day. The first ride or two was a little rough, haha. At least I didn't flip it or run into the first tree, it was the sixth ok?